January 19, 2015 by
TruthRevolt.org
In this special episode, our
compassionate host considers the very somber and serious questions
surrounding the non-lethal, enhanced interrogation techniques used
against murderous jihadi bastards. See the video and transcript below.
TRANSCRIPT:
I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.
Today, we take a hard-hitting and unflinching
look at the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on the CIA’s harsh
interrogation of Jihadi prisoners.
But before we begin, let’s all of us pause
for a moment of silence in which to reflect on what these Jihadis
endured at the hands of the United States Government.
[Goes into an UTTERLY SILENT jazz dance]
Thank you for that moment of silence.
The Senate Intelligence Report details the
harsh interrogation techniques used by American agents on helpless
Jihadi prisoners whose only crime was to attempt to enslave the entire
earth while slaughtering anyone who got in their way. The details of
the report were called “horrific,” by USA Today while the Washington
Post deemed them “horrific” and the Huffington Post called them
“horrific…” because if they hadn’t told us the details were “horrific,”
we might have read them ourselves and said, [shrugs.]
The report was a bipartisan effort by the
committee’s Democrats to get at the truth about CIA interrogation
techniques by personally interviewing no witnesses. Their report
revealed that CIA agents waterboarded some jihadis, fed them rectally
and forced them to stand for long periods of time for no earthly reason
other than to convince them to tell where they planned to mass murder
innocent people next.
The report claims that these techniques did
nothing to stop terrorist slaughter — a claim that is only disputed by
everyone who was there and all the non-Democrats who read the pertinent
documents. Six CIA Directors and Deputy Directors say that the
interrogation techniques saved thousands upon thousands of lives,
providing information that led to the arrest or killing of top
terrorists, including Osama bin Laden.
Still, is that any reason to pour water on
the faces of psychopathic murderers? I think most Senate Democrats
would say no. And then watch you die, and pretend it wasn’t their
fault.
Now, on a personal note, I have to admit that
I have been caught in an unguarded moment making silly jokes about how
waterboarding jihadis should be made an Olympic sport… scheduled
somewhere between water polo and synchronized swimming… with male CIA
agents wearing black silk shirts bedecked with sequins and female agents
in leotards and tutus. I deeply regret that these thoughtless comments
accidentally became public when I spoke them into a microphone in front
of an audience and later posted them on my Facebook page. I’m fully
aware that this is no laughing matter: sequins and tutus on CIA Agents
would be completely undignified, and I sincerely apologize for my
remarks.
But the real question is this: are harsh
interrogation techniques — sometimes called torture by those who want us
to give a rat’s — fitting behavior for a nation founded on Christian
principles? After all, Christianity is a religion of love. Nations
that have grown out of Christian culture generally come in time to
dedicate themselves to individual freedom, ethical behavior and the
peaceful resolution of conflicts wherever possible.
Which actually, come to think of it, seems
like a perfectly good reason to protect those nations from these Jihadi
savages by any means necessary. So… thanks for the report Senate
Democrats. Now get lost.
This is Andrew Klavan with the Revolting Truth.
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